The Great Debate
by DreamNet
Summary: The characters of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson battle it out in the Room of Requirement to settle the score of which series is the best series, once and for all. Total Crack. Major OOC. Beware


**Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a while. Well, warning to you all, I have never done anything related to humor before (I know I only posted one story before this one, but I mean ever), so this probably sucks. A lot. **

**But go ahead and read it. Your funeral.**

* * *

Nico walked into the Room of Requirement, remembering that he needed to tell Will something, to find it turned into a giant debate room. There were wooden benches on either side of the room, which was separated into two areas, all facing each other. On the right side, the back wall at a picture of Hogwarts, which was constantly moving on its own as wizarding pictures were. On the left, there was a giant tapestry of the Camps Half-Blood and Jupiter. There was a large banner with a few words in some calligraphy that Nico didn't bother to read, but thought looked nice with the rest of the setting. The whole room would've looked rather professional and regal if it were not for one thing.

The people.

Or more specifically, the _screaming_ people.

Yeah. On the left, what looked like all the kids from both Camps were situated in the seats, though most of them were standing on the floor or standing on the seats. On the left were what looked like every semi-important character that was present in Harry Potter's life, in the same position as the left.

Oh, and they were all screaming. Did he mention that already?

Nico looked on incredulously, forgetting what he came here for, and wondered what in the name of Hades was going on, when he finally read the banner.

_Series Debate: Harry Potter vs. Percy Jackson_

Ah. Now it made sense. How the debate devolved into this madness however, Nico had no idea.

"Whoa whoa! What is going on here?"

Everyone paused to look at the son of Hades, and parted as Nico walked towards the center, revealing Percy and Harry grabbing at each other's shirts, seeming to have almost gotten into a fist fight.

Percy let go first. "Oh, hey Nico. What's up?"

Nico looked at all the chaos around him, and stared pointedly at the demigod before him.

Percy looked sheepish. "Oh, right. That. Um, things kinda got out of hand."

Nico deadpanned. "Kind of?"

"Yeah. Kind of."

"Uh-huh. Where's the judge? Isn't he supposed to be keeping you guys under control?"

Both Percy and Harry gestured to the center desk, to find Percy Weasley sprawled on top of it, unconscious.

Nico adopted a confused expression, and Harry elaborated. "The twins got to him."

"Ah."

"Would you—"

"—like to—"

"—be our splendid—"

"—marvelous—"

—unbiased judge—"

"—for this special event?"

Thing 1 and Thing 2 (as Nico dubbed the two. He didn't bother to learn their names, and it was easier to remember than Weasley 4 and Weasley 5) finished with a flourish, and everyone looked at him expectantly.

Nico, uncomfortable under the scrutiny of what seemed like a thousand eyes, shook his head, hoping to get out of this soon.

"Sorry, no. I'm pretty biased."

Nico then rushed to sit down at an empty bench near the back, where there would be many less eyes on him, and sighed in relief when they looked away. Everyone else, however, groaned in annoyance, wondering how there would be an unbiased judge without said judge being inclined towards the side in which they came from. Desperately, they hoped their prayers would be answered, praying to the gods above them.

* * *

Percy Weasley (now dubbed Weasley 3, due to the fact that there is a much more Percy here, who was much less prattish as well) woke up, and found himself in the middle of the chaos.

"What is going on here?!"

Everyone groaned, since now that Weasley 3 was up, there would be no fun anymore.

"Once Headmaster finds out about this, he'll—"

Weasley 3 didn't get to finish however, when the door flew at him and knocked him out yet again, except this time, he was sprawled on the ground behind the desk instead, on his back with no sign of waking up anytime soon.

Everyone turned to where the door came from, to find a blonde woman standing at the doorless-door frame, looking pretty angry.

"WHO STOLE MY SAKE?!" Tsunade roared, ready to punch whoever was in her way to get her prized alcohol back.

On a completely unrelated note, Connor and Travis Stoll started inching in front of the stash of completely unrelated goods sitting on their bench.

Annabeth jumped on the opportunity. "Lady Tsunade! Could you please proctor our debate? We would really appreciate it."

"What do I have to do?"

"Just make sure things don't get out of hand. That's all."

"Sounds stupid."

"We have firewhisky."

"Is it alcohol?"

"Well, it's got the word 'whisky' in it…"

"I'm in. Who's first?"

* * *

Everyone finally sat down, and Harry stepped up to the center, ready to restart the debate with his points on why Harry Potter was obviously the better series.

"Now, to introduce myself, I am Harry Potter and I am here to express the reasons _my_ series differs from the _other_ series and is the better one. As the main character of the series, I am here to show the points that are specifically about me. Starting with the fact that the whole _Harry Potter_ series is named after me."

"The _Percy Jackson_ series was also named after me," Percy replied from his seat, looking exasperated.

Harry looked up, before going forward, as if he hadn't heard that. "I am the Chosen One who—"

"I am also the Chosen One, thank you very much," Percy pointed out with a bored expression, as if already having heard this conversation many times before.

Harry looked miffed and cleared his throat, before starting again. "I am a half-blood—"

"I am also a half-blood. So are many others. Not very special," Percy interrupted.

Harry shot him a glare, and continued. "I had been told since the beginning at Hogwarts that I was special, even more than my peers—"

"So have I."

"—I have always gone out to save my friends, even at the cost of my safety or reputation—"

_"So. Have. I."_

"—and I wound up making the prophecy come true after thinking that I was going to die."

_"So have I._"

"I GIVE UP! LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!"

Harry walked away from the center, taking his seat next to Ginny in contempt.

Tsunade looked up from her fifth bottle. "Um, oh. NEXT!"

* * *

Percy stepped up to the stand. "To demonstrate how _my_ series is much better than _their_ series, I will be listing things about the people around me. Now, I was almost not the prophesied child. In fact, there was one other that could've been the child in my place."

Percy gestured to Thalia, who started bowing to the clapping people around her.

"Ahem," everyone turned to Harry to find him gesturing to Neville. "Yeah. So do we."

Percy stood in confusion for a second, before continuing. "Uh, right. Sorry. Well, I have a female companion, who from the beginning, has always been the smartest person I had ever known, and is probably better than me at a lot of things that I am at her. Her name is Annabeth Chase, and she is extraordinary."

Percy smiled at Annabeth, who was blushing red, only for Harry to clear his throat again.

"We have one too. Her name is Hermione Granger. She's the brightest witch of her age," Harry stated, smugly.

The Camp members glared at him, and Percy went on. "I also have a best friend who explained this new world that I was not familiar with when I needed it, and was there for me on whatever quest I went on. Thanks Grover."

Said satyr was actually asleep, lying on the floor with a half eaten enchilada in his mouth, snoring and occasionally blurting out "FOOOOOOD". The other nature spirits proceeded to drag him away.

Percy snorted, and continued. "Anyway—"

"Actually," Harry interrupted. "I have a best friend who explained this new world that I was familiar with when I needed, and was there for me on whatever quest I went on, too. Remember? Ron Weasley?"

Everyone turned to the boy who was currently stuffing a giant chicken leg in his mouth, as Hermione was carefully scooting away.

Harry smirked. "And he likes food."

"Anyway," Percy went on, shooting a pointed look at the four-eyed wizard. "We have a trouble-making pair of brothers that always like to prank whoever they can, no matter the backlash they may receive."

Connor and Travis jumped up and started bowing to everyone, only to make the mistake of revealing what they were hiding behind them.

"YOU STOLE MY SAKE!"

And just like that, the Stoll brothers were flung to the other side of the room, hitting the wall with a giant bang that made everybody else cringe and look on in silence, as Tsunade had a demigod hand her the box of sake.

While the demigods went back to celebrating their victory over finally having something over the wizards, they quickly lost their thunder when a giant horn was blown. Everyone turned to find Harry gesturing to the Weasleys 4 and 5, who were dancing around to their own motions.

Percy sighed, desperate now. "We have a Master of Death" pointing at Nico, who, after witnessing the ridiculousness of this debate, walked out the room, slamming the door behind him. Yes, the door. The new door, specifically, which had magically appeared due to the powers of the Room of Requirement.

"We have one too," Harry pointed out again. Pointing at himself.

"—a really wise mentor that was always there—" Chiron bowed.

"Us too," Dumbledore also bowed to everyone.

"—werewolves—"

"So do we."

"—centaurs—"

"Check."

"—dragons—"

_"So. Do. We."_

"—school teachers that hate me—"

_"SO DO WE!"_

Percy slapped his forehead. "You know what? Screw it. This organized thing was never going to work anyway. PERCY JACKSON IS BETTER!"

"NO IT ISN'T"

"YEAH IT IS, YOU IDIOT!"

"GET THEM!"

A full out brawl took place, with Tsunade occasionally taking part in it, throwing empty bottles of firewhisky and sake around, finding this much more entertaining than what would have happened had she stayed at the Hokage desk with her paperwork.

On a side note, she hoped Sakura hadn't drowned in the paperwork yet. Her apprentice _had _just gotten out of a 36 hour shift at the hospital when Tsunade put her in charge, after all. Well, to be fair, Sakura had handled worse, so Tsunade reasoned, she could handle this too. Though, on second thought, maybe she should've made Naruto do the paperwork instead. He was training to be Hokage after all.

* * *

In a far off land, Naruto, who had walked into the Hokage tower to bring Sakura some lunch, sneezed, and scattered the whole pile of unfinished documents Sakura still had yet to get through, and she stood up menacingly, fist ready. _"NARUTOOOO!"_

"AHHHHH!"

* * *

Yeah, the kids were probably fine, as Tsunade reasoned to herself.

The fighting kept going, with people getting injured and having to be taken to the room's infirmary left and right.

Finally, the door opened to reveal Nico standing at the door, having had the guts to come back, remembering that he needed to tell Will something.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

* * *

**And there's that. Yeah, it's pretty stupid. It came out of a thought I had about how similar the two series were in context. Oh well.**

**Don't forget to R&R**

**~ Author-chan**


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